One highly motivational, life-affirming, a today I’ll begin the rest of my life statement. You add your thumbs up, there’s so many out there who should take this to heart, cause you’re doing quite okay after all.
Indeed you want to change everything to the better, just not today, just today it’s a touch too exhausting, you take a break and stay. Instead of going.
You stay in the same windless tornado, motionlessly you go in circles, the world is your museum that you marvel at with your eyes closed. You make plans, you mutter resolutions into champagne glasses and did not pay any attention to the growing pile of wise journals ever since you confirmed your subscription. You water the roots of your desires for the appearance of others, they just vaguely remind you of what they once were meant to grow into.
Nothing, but instead a smartphone and a computer and a tablet and a secure job and an alibi sport and a colorful picture of an always online subjunctive, but nothing in your hand.
A thumb and you scroll further and participate in the lives of others, you lie in bed and eagerly give your time to people who don’t know, and actually the fresh air from the window is enough, and next to it the dusty literature classics that make your bookshelf look so sophisticated.
Your normal distribution is perfect, you always bowed nicely to the common individuality of society, the meets expectations is your motto since elementary school. You know your mask by heart and yourself not anymore, adapted, rejected, you hang from the strings of the puppet players. It is comfortable, it functions and somehow you’re all in all healthy, your joy is called standard and your reward consumption. Sixteen hours are filled with meeting expectations, you are the perfect marionette, and for years a pair of scissors lies next to your hand, and once you knew what to use it for, but today you only cut the supermarket flowers.
And one day, the strings will tear and you will fall and you will notice that you cannot walk by yourself anymore. You will notice that subjunctives don’t tell stories and that thumbs don’t stand for adventures and that your subscription expired and your wise books fall apart and that the morning coffee doesn’t taste good anymore and that the flowers are sold out.
And silently you scream all your dissatisfaction into the world that has never heard you before.
And then you wake up.
Let us finally take our masks off, let us admit our weaknesses, let us talk about feelings and climb on houses and dance through nights and live through days and let us be honest and learn how to listen and shriekingly dance through the rain, let us combine red and purple and sing out of tune and finally start to make dreams instead of fantasizing them, let us go to the horizon and make mistakes and learn even more from them and read the books that we want to read, let us spend a day in bed without a bad conscience and then run through the fields and forget all the prejudice and pull those mouth’s corners up, let us listen to our inner voice and be allowed to find sunsets beautiful and find acceptance in difference instead of unity, let us finally discard this permanent detachment and laugh and cry and try and share.
Let us cut the strings before they tear.